Family and Annoying People

I have a lot of brothers and sisters. I come from a big family. I remember my mom saying that I should be so glad I have sisters because they will be such a great help for me when I am an adult.

My youngest sister and me do not talk. Its not really her fault, we had an argument about whether or not I would make a good parent. Which I feel is none of her business and her lecture (She was 17 at the time) about how abortion was my best bet (Even though she lived with me, and I paid all of her bills) about how I needed to do this and this when I was not even pregnant was beyond annoying. So when I got pregnant and rehashed this fear she had of me screwing up my kids I was beyond livid. Her mom was a coke whore and I could understand why she felt some people should not have children. But I do not do anything close and took care of her when her parents couldn't. So when I lost the baby needless to say we have not spoken since.

My other sister is a great person. Terrible selfish and doesn't think before she talks but is sweet. She has been to the hospital with me numerous times. But after the second baby it became obvious just how much of a toll this whole thing was taking on her. Which I can understand. But it makes the weirdest things come out of her mouth. Today she pretty much told me that my negative thinking was going to doom this pregnancy. Which also insinuated that might have been an issue with the previous ones. Needless to say we do not agree and I am beyond annoyed. Believe me. I don't need people coming up with new ways that all of this could be my fault. I already walk a fine line here and do not need assistance whether from her or hormones as to the guilt I feel in this whole situation. So much for sisterly assistance.

I also have another issue directed at casual acquaintances. Why do you think telling me about your great grandma losing a baby is some how relevant to my situation. That's like me knowing what having twins is like because Angelina Jolie has twins. Your random relative going though something you think is similar does not help me to relate to you, especially when you have never met them. Your mom losing babies before you were born does not make me feel like me and you are in the same boat. Don't come to me with stories of your friends aunt. If you want to talk about what happened to me we can talk about it. But don't act like you know what I have been through unless you have been through it. I understand if it was your sister or your best friend then maybe we can relate a bit better. But your great aunt twice removed having a heavy period does not make you and me on the same page. We are not even reading the same book.

Also, if you have had bleeding while pregnant... then still delivered a healthy baby. You did not lose the babies twin.  I have lost clots the size of my fist and knew it was not another baby. Especially at 13 weeks. Now twins can vanish. But if you never heard another heart beat, never saw it on an ultrasound, and had one day where you lost a little clot the size of a quarter, when you have a serious history of precancer in your cervix. I almost guarantee one million percent that clot did not carry a baby the size of a lime.

Wow.. glad I got that out. Sorry if this offends anyone.