High Risk Pregnancy

I made a new website. Its still super new, but I am sick of not having a place where high risk moms, people who have suffered loss or people who are considering all of these things while TTC. So I made one. Its a baby site that's for sure. But I hope to see you there!

click <-

Update.

I am 14 weeks according to my doctor. 15 weeks according to the baby. I had some hemorrhaging yesterday and spent last night in the ER. I hate all of this. I don't know what to do. I brought up to both of my doctors at both of my appointments the idea of a progesterone shot to help with an irritable uterus and preterm labor. They both shot me down. I went over all of the signs I have all of the cramping, the pressure on my bladder. Nope nothing. My perinatologists words were. "We already know whats wrong with you. That is for people we don't know whats wrong with them." They refuse to monitor me closer over these next crucial weeks. I am at a loss. Even with the bleeding and cramping yesterday still nothing. In fact they just wont even deal with me now. They just keep telling me to call the other one. "I don't want to step on his toes." They are so busy trying to not step on each others toes that they are not talking to me about these issues. The ER doctor was so irritated that she told me to get new doctors.

Then my mom. My mom is a weird person. When I had Lily, I was at home with a temperature of 103 infections, preprom, and labor and she wanted me to stay home. We knew we had to go to the hospital. But she felt that if I lost the baby it would be my fault for going to the hospital, that I should wait it out until her water refilled. We went anyway, her water had not refilled and I had to be in the hospital for days due to infection. She's also convinced my bladder is not emptying enough and that is then causing cramping which eventually causes my miscarriages. This is not true. But she wont drop it. She came to the ER last night at my request and would not drop it. At one point I was thinking about getting a catheter to see if it would help with the cramping because I kept feeling like I had to pee. Pressure from the cramping causes this not the other way around. I asked my DH what he thought about it and if I should get one. HE said no at first because it causes infection. UTI's for me make everything so much worse and he's right. My mom flipped out. That I need to make decisions for myself, and I can't let other people decide for me. Blah blah blah. She left after that. Which was not only stressful but also she was my ride home since DH had to go to work. I ended up having to take a cab.

I called her today to tell her I was home and everything was fine. She freaked out on me again. "You have to live with the decisions you make." And just overall implying that if I lose this baby too then it will be my fault. I DO NOT need people telling me it will be my fault. I eventually had to hang up on her because she wont drop it. Well I said "I'm going to go now." and hung up.

I guess I just feel alone. I am stuck in bed. My doctors wont listen to me. My family makes it worse. I know it stresses out my DH because hes the only one who is here to help me deal with all of this stuff. It's a lot to ask of him. I'm just scared, sad, and stressed out.

But on the plus side I get to hire  a cleaning lady to clean my house!

Hormonal Internet Related Post

Now I have had my fair share of Internet over the past four years, as I am sure everyone has. My experience is that people lie.... A lot. Which is usually not a big deal. Who cares if you say you have to have a farm because you have so many tigers you can't let them roam around the house. That they need to be free!!! Then post pictures of tigers you found on google. Dear Internet liars I am going to teach you some stuff. I need you to do me a favor first go to google images and search... twin ultrasound photos. I'll wait.............................................................. Ok now right click on the photo and go to properties. Do you see that url that pops up? IT STAYS WITH HE PHOTO AS ITS ORIGINAL POINT. So when you post that ladies photo it can be tracked to prove its not you. You moron. Also go to google now and search "Whats my ip?". Click on one of the many options. The number that shows up is your computers fingerprint. It shows up on emails, on wall posts, forum posts, comments, ect... When you say you are a pregnant artist who lives in Sweden...those numbers tell me you are in San Jose.... They don't lie. Unless you want to pay for a program that scrambles your ip...then I can see that to, or any mod. Then they know you have the device because it's ever changing your ip and sends hacker red flags.

Now this one gets its own paragraph... because well this is the most common. When you post they don't disappear into the oblivion... They are saved as forum archives. So when you decide randomly that you are sick of being fake pregnant and all of a sudden have you 9lb baby at 6 months you cannot deny your previous posts of due dates and ultrasounds. Then all of a sudden are defending your story to and ever growing hormonal angry mob. Also... no ones family member or fake husband defends people. If I said to my significant other "Babe, I lied about miscarrying sextuplets and now every ones mad at me will you post and demand they be nice to me please?" He would laugh in my face and have me committed (Thank god). So when your husband or friend jumps to your rescue... we know its you.

Ok last thing last thing. Statistics. Now lets talk about this. If you have been in a major car crash and your body is full of scar tissue so much so that you can barely eat, your stomach is slowly turning gangrenous but then next week you are pregnant and can't get enough spicy food... Um this will trigger red flags. Sure you might be telling the truth but if you are lying it will unravel fast. So if you are on a forum about pregnancy and there are 40 active members you being pregnant with twins is unlikely, and other women being pregnant with twins is your red flag to not be. Twins even with fertility treatments is a 1 in 200 shot. So when there are three of you pregnant with twins out of forty its not really plausible. So think before you lie.

Also if you suspect someone of lying... Someone suspects you of lying.  There is nothing more funny than watching two liars cheat at scrabble or argue in a pissing match. " Well my husbands from Ireland and is a doctors and just bought me a 6 million dollar house."  " Well my husband is a chef who makes me all the best food i could ever want and we are going to have a baby even though its physically impossible for me to procreate!" Getting in this pissing match over a public outlet pretty much forces you to come up with a lot of info fast that you will have to back up later. So don't do it. If some other liar is stealing your thunder let it be or you both will be caught.  Also if you go to a site, look at recent posts or drama. If a liar has previously been headhunted then maybe back off because people are sceptical right after a fiasco. Also know your audience. Don't lie about being pregnant to pregnant women, they know their stuff. Don't lie about being an engineer to engineers, about miscarriage on a miscarriage forum, about dragons on a dragon forum, about aliens on an alien forum ect... These people are versed in the matter. If you lie on a different forum you are less likely to be caught by the experts. Sure you  risk not getting as much attention, but I guess that's up to you to weigh out the risk factor.

Now this is not directed at anyone specific (I am totally lying right now) Its just an educational piece. To better help the liars out there understand what they are up against.

Now to the people being lied to. Its the Internet, and there is nothing more fun than calling out a crazy lying person. So maybe right click on that photo and see where it came from. Reply to a post that a miscarriage at 10 weeks does not produce a 1lb baby. Tell that person that dragons in Canada is ridiculous. Its fun to watch them squirm. Bring up previous posts to make them have to explain more (I thought her mom was a Mongolian whore, not a french one) and so on.

Have a nice day!

Sincerely,

Nobody

Baby Update.

Everything is good. The baby measured the right size. Blood flow to the placenta was good. Everything was perfect.

I know this is going to be weird. I might just be having a bad night. I love that everything is fine. I just feel that all of the previous times everything has been fine as well. I don't have placenta abruption, or clots that are visible. I don't have intrauterin growth restriction. All of my babies were born at a proper weight and size for their development. They were alive during delivery. I guess I just don't feel reassured that this pregnancy will be fine. Because it seeming fine is normal. I am in the second trimester now and right on cue the cramping is starting. I know to some degree its normal but come on. I asked my doctor about progesterone injections. He told me that if I had a psychological issue that makes me think I am having too much cramping then maybe he will put me on progesterone. Yep that's what happens, I imagine cramping, then I imagine my water breaking and then bam I lose the baby. Stupid psychosis that makes me imagine this stuff. I hate doctors. But you all already knew that. All 4 of you who have ready my posts.

There is nothing worse..

Than having bad grammar and being to lazy to fix it. Remind me to not go back and read my posts. Another appointment on Monday! YAY! Hopefully I will post pictures. I am excited. I'm nervous something will be wrong. I'm also procrastinating my dishes which are pretty vial right now. I need to think about what to make for dinner too.

All in all though I feel pretty good!